Spring Break
Friends don't give friends full screen DVDs
By: A Christmas poem by Robert Saucedo
Issue date: 12/5/05 Section: Aggielife
Every Aggie that lived down in Aggieland liked widescreen DVDs even more than Coach Fran.
But the Grinch who lived north of Northgate saw enormous black bars and was filled with hate.
It was fair to say that the Grinch hated to see anything less then a full image on screen.
Come Christmas Eve, at the market the Grinch stood.
Lord only knows, he was up to no good.
His cogs were a-turning, his mind scheming a scheme.
He bought for his friends DVDs fully full screen.
He clutched in his hands pan-and-scan gifts.
Paying for the abominations, he let out a sniff.
"Bah, humbug to letterbox," he snarled with a sneer.
"On widescreen a pox," he let go with a leer.
"My friends won't care if half an intended shot is missing. For the director's consent, I was not fishing."
He purchased full screen, despite the loss of detail and depth.
For such a massive mistake to make, one must be on meth.
Jerky movements mar a pan-and-scanned disk.
The loss of story info will often be missed.
Without widescreen, 45 percent of the visual is lost.
Those "two black bars" are well worth the cost.
Letterboxing gives viewers the original aspect ratio.
Filmmakers agree full-screen versions must go.
After one hour of widescreen watching, the bars are soon forgotten.
It's easier than you think to ignore black bars top and bottom.
Despite a smaller visual proportion, you see more of the frame.
Full screen, my friends, is quite simply not the same.
None of this concerned the Grinch.
Ignoring valuable facts, for him was a cinch.
Come Christmas morning, the Grinch's pals woke to presents a-gleaming.
As they opened their gifts, two words stood a-screaming.
"Full Screen" was stamped on their DVDs labels,
Their viewing pleasures forever disabled.
"What about the original aspect ratio!" His friends let out a cry.
"You stole half of my movie," his friends sobbed as they dabbed at their eyes.
Friends don't buy friends full-screen DVDs for reasons even obvious to the birds and the bees.
Come Christmas time, take note as you shop:
Nobody likes movies that come from the box cropped.
But the Grinch who lived north of Northgate saw enormous black bars and was filled with hate.
It was fair to say that the Grinch hated to see anything less then a full image on screen.
Come Christmas Eve, at the market the Grinch stood.
Lord only knows, he was up to no good.
His cogs were a-turning, his mind scheming a scheme.
He bought for his friends DVDs fully full screen.
He clutched in his hands pan-and-scan gifts.
Paying for the abominations, he let out a sniff.
"Bah, humbug to letterbox," he snarled with a sneer.
"On widescreen a pox," he let go with a leer.
"My friends won't care if half an intended shot is missing. For the director's consent, I was not fishing."
He purchased full screen, despite the loss of detail and depth.
For such a massive mistake to make, one must be on meth.
Jerky movements mar a pan-and-scanned disk.
The loss of story info will often be missed.
Without widescreen, 45 percent of the visual is lost.
Those "two black bars" are well worth the cost.
Letterboxing gives viewers the original aspect ratio.
Filmmakers agree full-screen versions must go.
After one hour of widescreen watching, the bars are soon forgotten.
It's easier than you think to ignore black bars top and bottom.
Despite a smaller visual proportion, you see more of the frame.
Full screen, my friends, is quite simply not the same.
None of this concerned the Grinch.
Ignoring valuable facts, for him was a cinch.
Come Christmas morning, the Grinch's pals woke to presents a-gleaming.
As they opened their gifts, two words stood a-screaming.
"Full Screen" was stamped on their DVDs labels,
Their viewing pleasures forever disabled.
"What about the original aspect ratio!" His friends let out a cry.
"You stole half of my movie," his friends sobbed as they dabbed at their eyes.
Friends don't buy friends full-screen DVDs for reasons even obvious to the birds and the bees.
Come Christmas time, take note as you shop:
Nobody likes movies that come from the box cropped.
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