Spring Break
Let me tell you about my American friend, Bob
By: Rahul Bhatnagar
Issue date: 2/23/07 Section: Opinion
Dear Mom,
I miss you. How are Dad, Montu and Pampy and the little Unchi? I heard he's really growing.
I have made a good friend here. His name is Bob.
Bob. Bob is big. (My Chinese friend Kim x 1.4) + 50 pounds = Bob. Even Bob's girlfriend is 3 inches taller, 35 pounds heavier and 2.5 inches wider than me. One day, Bob smashed his hand in my living room wall. The wall has a $200 crater now. I'm scared of Bob when he gets drunk.
Bob. Bob is ignorant. Bob thinks 'Bhutan' is a verb and 'Zaire' belongs to the zebra family. Bob thinks Iraqis are happy now, and Sudan, Iran and North Korea are evil. Bob watches CNN and Fox News. I'm concerned about Bob.
Bob. Bob is loud. Bob talks in the same tone whether in class, the Student Computing Center, on the bus, in the library or in Kyle Field. Bob is 35 decibels louder than my shriek. I think Bob should vary his speech.
Bob. Bob is articulate. Bob takes 30 seconds (including 17.5 seconds on 'mmm,' 'its like' and 'you know') to explain what I can't in three minutes. I wish I could talk like Bob.
Bob. Bob hates walking. Bob either runs around the campus or drives his truck. Bob thinks I'm crazy to walk two miles to campus. Bob makes fun of my late-night walks. I think Bob is funny.
Bob. Bob is honest. Bob never cheats. Bob asks what he doesn't understand. Bob works Monday through Thursday like a bull, then parties the whole weekend. Bob does the best with what he has and where he is. I learn so much from Bob.
Bob. Bob is aggressive. Bob loves to lead. Bob is never shy when meeting people. Bob is the first to start conversations with beautiful girls. Bob crashes all the parties. Bob doesn't mind yawning in the face of a professor. I think Bob is wonderful.
Bob. Bob is a funny dresser. Bob wears flip-flops, a baseball cap and pajamas to class. But at career fairs, Bob is the smartest of the lot. I think Bob should not wear flip-flops to class.
Bob. Bob hates cooking. Bob drinks Coke and black coffee all the time. I think Bob should cook sometimes. Bob loves football that isn't played with feet. I think Bob should not call this football.
Bob. Bob is a geek. Bob carries an Apple iPod, Texas Instrument calculator, BlackBerry mobile and Dell laptop all at the same time. I think Bob should leave them alone sometimes.
Bob. Bob is American.
Bob says hi.
Love you Mom,
Rahul
I miss you. How are Dad, Montu and Pampy and the little Unchi? I heard he's really growing.
I have made a good friend here. His name is Bob.
Bob. Bob is big. (My Chinese friend Kim x 1.4) + 50 pounds = Bob. Even Bob's girlfriend is 3 inches taller, 35 pounds heavier and 2.5 inches wider than me. One day, Bob smashed his hand in my living room wall. The wall has a $200 crater now. I'm scared of Bob when he gets drunk.
Bob. Bob is ignorant. Bob thinks 'Bhutan' is a verb and 'Zaire' belongs to the zebra family. Bob thinks Iraqis are happy now, and Sudan, Iran and North Korea are evil. Bob watches CNN and Fox News. I'm concerned about Bob.
Bob. Bob is loud. Bob talks in the same tone whether in class, the Student Computing Center, on the bus, in the library or in Kyle Field. Bob is 35 decibels louder than my shriek. I think Bob should vary his speech.
Bob. Bob is articulate. Bob takes 30 seconds (including 17.5 seconds on 'mmm,' 'its like' and 'you know') to explain what I can't in three minutes. I wish I could talk like Bob.
Bob. Bob hates walking. Bob either runs around the campus or drives his truck. Bob thinks I'm crazy to walk two miles to campus. Bob makes fun of my late-night walks. I think Bob is funny.
Bob. Bob is honest. Bob never cheats. Bob asks what he doesn't understand. Bob works Monday through Thursday like a bull, then parties the whole weekend. Bob does the best with what he has and where he is. I learn so much from Bob.
Bob. Bob is aggressive. Bob loves to lead. Bob is never shy when meeting people. Bob is the first to start conversations with beautiful girls. Bob crashes all the parties. Bob doesn't mind yawning in the face of a professor. I think Bob is wonderful.
Bob. Bob is a funny dresser. Bob wears flip-flops, a baseball cap and pajamas to class. But at career fairs, Bob is the smartest of the lot. I think Bob should not wear flip-flops to class.
Bob. Bob hates cooking. Bob drinks Coke and black coffee all the time. I think Bob should cook sometimes. Bob loves football that isn't played with feet. I think Bob should not call this football.
Bob. Bob is a geek. Bob carries an Apple iPod, Texas Instrument calculator, BlackBerry mobile and Dell laptop all at the same time. I think Bob should leave them alone sometimes.
Bob. Bob is American.
Bob says hi.
Love you Mom,
Rahul
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