Spring Break
Harmless Hooters?
One of Bryan's newest restaurants could spell disaster for the Brazos Valley, says Travis Holland
By: Travis Holland
Issue date: 6/13/07 Section: Opinion
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That's right - America's favorite tight-shirted, short-shorted waitresses are coming to Bryan. Oh, poop.
Just like in other Texas towns, the Bryan Hooters franchise is already facing opposition with protestors and dissenters attending city council meetings. When a Hooters restaurant opened in nearby Waco, ministers and citizens gathered to oppose the restaurant. Petitions and letters went out to try and stop the restaurant from coming to Waco.
Why are residents against Hooters? To anyone with half a brain, it's obvious. Though Hooters is not a sexually oriented business, it deserves all the negative attention it receives. Short shorts are nothing new, and tight shirts are everywhere, but Hooters is a breeding ground for perverts, drunks and habitual hot wing eaters. After all, what other kind of person would want to watch sports and drink a beer at a restaurant with well-endowed waitresses?
True, Aggies and local citizens are likely to see more skin at Northgate or an apartment swimming pool, and plenty of bars sell cheaper beer. But let's not lose focus on all the terrible things about Hooters.
One reason for a Hooters ban is the way the restaurant dehumanizes women. For God's sake, they are paid to serve fried pickles in shorts that barely cover their hips. They have to sing and embarrass customers on their birthdays - it's almost like they're waitresses at a Joe's Crab Shack.
Feminists, ready the picket line.
Additionally, franchises sell "Hooters girls" calendars on site. A monthly dose of scantily clad women is no laughing matter. The sale of these scandalous products featuring pouty lips and long blond hair is yet another reason to run Hooters out of town.
Mothers, bring your children inside.
The biggest reason Hooters shouldn't come to Bryan is the traffic safety issue. Grown men on surrounding streets will gawk at the busty waitresses instead of watching the road. The last thing the Bryan-College Station area needs is more traffic issues created by the magical draw of Hooters girls.
Wives, watch your husbands closely.
Is Hooters really the biggest problem the Bryan-College Station area has to worry about? Yes. We should ignore a drunk driving epidemic and two recent Northgate stabbings to ban a restaurant that serves two kinds of buns.
It's time to gather the torch-bearing mob.
Watch your shapely butt, Hooters. We're coming for you and your delicious hot wings.
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