2008 Woodie Awards
Aisleside View - Lohan film fails to thrill
By: Stephanie Rancier
Issue date: 7/30/07 Section: Aggielife
What's worse than a truly horrible movie? The moronic conversations of clueless audience members who didn't understand the plot is just one of the few things even worse than a poorly constructed slicer movie.
Aubrey Fleming (Lindsay Lohan) is a promising high school student who enjoys writing and developing stories. After a football game, Aubrey's friends and boyfriend panic when they can't find her because another girl from their school was abducted and killed. After many days of searching, authorities found Aubrey, or who they thought was Aubrey.
Dakota Moss (Lohan) is a drug and alcohol-abusing stripper who is suffering from unexplainable bleeding wounds. Dakota woke up to find herself in a hospital with people calling her Aubrey. Though no one believed her, Dakota was determined to find the real Aubrey and stop the sadistic killer from finishing the job.
When looking for an actress to play a troubled erotic dancer, Lohan probably seemed like the perfect specimen. She probably thought getting paid to act like herself in a movie would be one of the easiest roles imaginable. Why else would an actress with ample movie offers help create one of the worst movies of the year?
Audience members might also wonder what possessed Julia Ormond, whose previous film credits include "Sabrina" and "Legends of the Fall," to be in the type movie that usually stars struggling, new actors. Ormond offers her acting talent as Susan Fleming, who is distressed by the abrasive Dakota, who insists that she's not Aubrey.
Movies that rely on visual aspects instead of dialogue usually have a purpose for graphic scenes. However, searching for meaning in the overly bloody and pornographic scenes in this movie is pointless. The torture scenes act as a test on one's gag reflexes and the sex scenes perhaps serve as a precursor to Lohan's next media stir.
"I Know Who Killed Me" is a horror movie that can make anyone seeking a career as a legitimate actor loose faith. The trailer claims the movie to be a thriller that will have audiences guessing until the end. The only thing audiences should ponder is what drug these actors were on when they signed the movie contract.
Aubrey Fleming (Lindsay Lohan) is a promising high school student who enjoys writing and developing stories. After a football game, Aubrey's friends and boyfriend panic when they can't find her because another girl from their school was abducted and killed. After many days of searching, authorities found Aubrey, or who they thought was Aubrey.
Dakota Moss (Lohan) is a drug and alcohol-abusing stripper who is suffering from unexplainable bleeding wounds. Dakota woke up to find herself in a hospital with people calling her Aubrey. Though no one believed her, Dakota was determined to find the real Aubrey and stop the sadistic killer from finishing the job.
When looking for an actress to play a troubled erotic dancer, Lohan probably seemed like the perfect specimen. She probably thought getting paid to act like herself in a movie would be one of the easiest roles imaginable. Why else would an actress with ample movie offers help create one of the worst movies of the year?
Audience members might also wonder what possessed Julia Ormond, whose previous film credits include "Sabrina" and "Legends of the Fall," to be in the type movie that usually stars struggling, new actors. Ormond offers her acting talent as Susan Fleming, who is distressed by the abrasive Dakota, who insists that she's not Aubrey.
Movies that rely on visual aspects instead of dialogue usually have a purpose for graphic scenes. However, searching for meaning in the overly bloody and pornographic scenes in this movie is pointless. The torture scenes act as a test on one's gag reflexes and the sex scenes perhaps serve as a precursor to Lohan's next media stir.
"I Know Who Killed Me" is a horror movie that can make anyone seeking a career as a legitimate actor loose faith. The trailer claims the movie to be a thriller that will have audiences guessing until the end. The only thing audiences should ponder is what drug these actors were on when they signed the movie contract.
Be sure to include your name, major, and class year. Submissions without this information are subject to deletion.
By submitting a comment, you agree to thebatt.com's Terms of Use.
You may also send a Mail Call to The Battalion at mailcall@thebatt.com