Spring Break
Experts reveal warning signs of abuse
Relationship Violence Part 2
By: Erin Wood
Issue date: 10/9/07 Section: News
University and Brazos County officials said that all students need to be aware of how to help a friend in an unhealthy relationship because it is difficult for people in abusive relationships to get help or end them.
Dean Bresciani, the vice president for student affairs, said that knowing the warning signs of a friend in trouble and how to help them is important for everyone.
"The Aggie family is renown for not just individuals looking after themselves, but as well, those around them," he said.
Ashley McCollum, the public outreach chairwoman of the Brazos County Coalition Against Domestic Violence, said that talking with a friend you suspect or confirm is in an unhealthy relationship can make a big difference, but it can be difficult.
"It's hard to know what to say and what not to say," McCollum said. "The most important thing you can do is listen to what he or she has to say."
She said people should let a friend know that they are concerned about his or her safety and why, and also offer to go with the friend to get help, whether it is a counselor, parent or police officer.
"Don't be judgmental. Don't demand or try to force your friend to make a decision about the relationship right away," McCollum said. "Your friend has to decide when he or she is ready to get help or end the relationship. You cannot do it for him or her."
Bresciani said that people in unhealthy relationships often stay in them for one of two reasons. They either believe it is their fault, or they believe it is the best they can do.
"Neither of those ever makes sense from the outside looking in, but tend to be fairly common emotions for individuals trapped in such relationship," Bresciani said. "We also live in a society that encourages and often romantically portrays the notion of 'one true love'. It's easy to be trapped by the belief that it will be deceitful or worse to give up on a relationship that isn't going well."
Several places on and off campus offer help to victims of domestic violence or partners in unhealthy relationships.
Dean Bresciani, the vice president for student affairs, said that knowing the warning signs of a friend in trouble and how to help them is important for everyone.
"The Aggie family is renown for not just individuals looking after themselves, but as well, those around them," he said.
Ashley McCollum, the public outreach chairwoman of the Brazos County Coalition Against Domestic Violence, said that talking with a friend you suspect or confirm is in an unhealthy relationship can make a big difference, but it can be difficult.
"It's hard to know what to say and what not to say," McCollum said. "The most important thing you can do is listen to what he or she has to say."
She said people should let a friend know that they are concerned about his or her safety and why, and also offer to go with the friend to get help, whether it is a counselor, parent or police officer.
"Don't be judgmental. Don't demand or try to force your friend to make a decision about the relationship right away," McCollum said. "Your friend has to decide when he or she is ready to get help or end the relationship. You cannot do it for him or her."
Bresciani said that people in unhealthy relationships often stay in them for one of two reasons. They either believe it is their fault, or they believe it is the best they can do.
"Neither of those ever makes sense from the outside looking in, but tend to be fairly common emotions for individuals trapped in such relationship," Bresciani said. "We also live in a society that encourages and often romantically portrays the notion of 'one true love'. It's easy to be trapped by the belief that it will be deceitful or worse to give up on a relationship that isn't going well."
Several places on and off campus offer help to victims of domestic violence or partners in unhealthy relationships.
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