Spring Break
Importance falls on trivial characteristics as Palin turns 45
Obama will overshadow news no matter how important it is.
By: Jason Staggs
Issue date: 2/11/09 Section: Opinion
America's homecoming queen and erstwhile savior-ess of the Republican party, Alaska's Gov. Sarah Palin (Maverick-Russia), turns 45 today. This is not really news. The news is how old she'll be in 2012, and what can be done to prevent media outlets from using this against her.
Shortly after the influential voting process in Iowa and New Hampshire in the election year, the "Maverick" will turn 48, with two short steps left on the steep decline to the big 5-0 every woman over the age of 25 dreads.
Don't be surprised if there are a few more (visible) strands of gray hair on her head, nor if the mainstream media makes cheap jokes about how she is getting older and how those antiquated, out-of-touch Republicans are silly, old fuddy-duddies.
Remember when Hillary Clinton was a brilliant career woman, one half of a Two-for-One deal that Clinton/Gore '92 was selling? And when the talking heads dropped her like last year's sexual harassment lawsuit? They've got nothing on what their successors will try to pull over on the 48-year-old Governor if she chooses to run against ancient 51-year-old Barack Obama.
His age won't feature into the news, of course. He'll still be young, hip, dynamic, "change" personified. Like most of his administration and that of his predecessor, his campaign will be one big press release, easily gobbled up by the mainstream press.
His gray hairs will be from years of stress-filled economic briefings and lots of chain smoking for which we should feel some sympathy. Palin's gray hairs? Look for blown-out graphics in Time Magazine comparing those to every plank in the Republican Party's campaign platform.
His wrinkles will speak volumes about each chapter in America's heritage quilt, culminating in the transcendent rule of a benign racial and culturally hybrid citizen of the world. Her crow's feet? CNN won't let those puppies get by viewers without a close-up every time she is interviewed.
His style will still be "Classic Cool," the reincarnation of President Kennedy's suave sense of all that was right about clothes in that momentous decade. Palin's clothes? Just the result of another grabby trip to Fifth Avenue on the RNC's American Express card.
Come to think of it, tuning into press coverage of the 2012 election might not even be worth the trouble. If the economy is still changing, just pop in your Tivo'd copies of 2008 coverage and save the cost of a cable televsion or magazine subscription. This is all assuming, of course, that 'crisis' has not turned into monumental 'catastrophe,' to paraphrase our fearless leader. In that case, we should probably just accept him for the full eight years, regardless of what the Constitution says.
Shortly after the influential voting process in Iowa and New Hampshire in the election year, the "Maverick" will turn 48, with two short steps left on the steep decline to the big 5-0 every woman over the age of 25 dreads.
Don't be surprised if there are a few more (visible) strands of gray hair on her head, nor if the mainstream media makes cheap jokes about how she is getting older and how those antiquated, out-of-touch Republicans are silly, old fuddy-duddies.
Remember when Hillary Clinton was a brilliant career woman, one half of a Two-for-One deal that Clinton/Gore '92 was selling? And when the talking heads dropped her like last year's sexual harassment lawsuit? They've got nothing on what their successors will try to pull over on the 48-year-old Governor if she chooses to run against ancient 51-year-old Barack Obama.
His age won't feature into the news, of course. He'll still be young, hip, dynamic, "change" personified. Like most of his administration and that of his predecessor, his campaign will be one big press release, easily gobbled up by the mainstream press.
His gray hairs will be from years of stress-filled economic briefings and lots of chain smoking for which we should feel some sympathy. Palin's gray hairs? Look for blown-out graphics in Time Magazine comparing those to every plank in the Republican Party's campaign platform.
His wrinkles will speak volumes about each chapter in America's heritage quilt, culminating in the transcendent rule of a benign racial and culturally hybrid citizen of the world. Her crow's feet? CNN won't let those puppies get by viewers without a close-up every time she is interviewed.
His style will still be "Classic Cool," the reincarnation of President Kennedy's suave sense of all that was right about clothes in that momentous decade. Palin's clothes? Just the result of another grabby trip to Fifth Avenue on the RNC's American Express card.
Come to think of it, tuning into press coverage of the 2012 election might not even be worth the trouble. If the economy is still changing, just pop in your Tivo'd copies of 2008 coverage and save the cost of a cable televsion or magazine subscription. This is all assuming, of course, that 'crisis' has not turned into monumental 'catastrophe,' to paraphrase our fearless leader. In that case, we should probably just accept him for the full eight years, regardless of what the Constitution says.
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