Spring Break
Commemorating V.D.
Greek gods were the opposite of romantics
By: Tracey Wallace
Issue date: 2/13/09 Section: Opinion
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The Greeks believed love itself was a gift from the gods - more specifically, a small male god by the name of Eros. Eros was equipped with two types of arrows: one made of lead and another of gold. Get drilled with the lead arrow and your heart would be filled with malice and contempt for your pursuer. But if you're shot with the gold one, obsession takes hold and you become an old-world stalker, of sorts. Both options were considered extremely romantic.
Eros wasn't much like the Cupid the Romans made him out to be. In reality, he had what one must assume was "little man syndrome" and used his assets to his personal entertainment and benefit. Let's track a few of his most famous pranks.
Aphrodite, the goddess of sex, got around and was never in need of Eros or his pesky arrows to make men want her. Of course, Aphrodite only seduced the best and to make that cut, you had to be a god. Sleeping with mortals was degrading in her eyes and she detested the idea of it as much as Jesus was against polytheism. Funny story, though, because the seductress messed about with the wrong man.
Zeus, the head honcho of the gods, was notorious for sleeping with any woman he saw, including mortals. His sexual encounter meter ran in the thousands; no woman was out of his reach and consent was often...negotiable. Hugh Hefner is practically a virgin in comparison.
Aphrodite ridiculed Zeus for his numerous escapades and mocked him for the ones with mortals. Zeus didn't take well to her bullying. Thus, he hired Eros to make her obsess over a mortal. The mortal, afraid of a union between a mortal and a god, refused her. Eros gave her some of her own medicine, and she was his own mother! Moral of that story: don't mess with Zeus. Oh, and refusing a sex goddess - probably a bad idea.
Of course, Eros' list of maladies lain upon others doesn't end there. When Apollo made fun of Eros' archery skills, he quickly devised a ruinous plan for his enemy.
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