Spring Break
Student mind abductors
Taking your brains, one vote at a time
By: Kaitlyn Drinkwater
Issue date: 3/23/09 Section: Opinion
It's 7:50 a.m. and I'm bitterly cold from my walk to campus. Even though it's 30 degrees, it will top 80 degrees later, and I stupidly chose to dress for the afternoon. I'm wondering if it's going to take Japanese subway stuffers in white gloves to cram me onto a Wehner bus when suddenly, I'm surrounded by a crowd of screaming banshees.
"What's going on?" I wonder as candy pelts me and flyers buffet my face. "Vote smart, vote Martin!" yells one, frantically. Suddenly, I realize in horror: student body president campaign season has begun. Only an SBP candidate groupie would attempt to pseudo-rhyme smart with Martin. Worse yet, in my frigid stupor, I've walked right into Gig 'Em Alley, the strip of Rudder Plaza between the Stark Galleries and Rudder Fountain.
I hate this time of year, and not just because I have to adjust my route to the buses. I hate seeing fellow students turn into raving, mindless acolytes trying to sell a candidate like a poorly marketed Aggie Messiah.
It used to be that if you avoided the main hotspots, Gig 'Em Alley and Fish Pond Demilitarized Zone, you could dodge the worst of the zealots. Now they're flooding my inbox on Facebook - there is no escape.
What is it that turns Ags into cultist fanatics? I think the obvious answer is brainwashing. It's the only way to explain how former friends become the disciples of well-meaning, but woefully over-promising, wanna-be politicians.
For weeks, these collegiate crusaders hawk T-shirts and push free scantrons on unsuspecting passersby. Supporters of some candidates have been known to jump in front of oncoming bicycles in a desperate bid to hand the rider a flyer and spread their message. Others stand fast, holding bedsheet-sized signs in the face of College Station's fiercest winds at risk of being carried away. Clearly, people would not put themselves in the way of a moving bike or stand in a windstorm holding what amounts to a giant parachute unless they were being controlled against their will.
"What's going on?" I wonder as candy pelts me and flyers buffet my face. "Vote smart, vote Martin!" yells one, frantically. Suddenly, I realize in horror: student body president campaign season has begun. Only an SBP candidate groupie would attempt to pseudo-rhyme smart with Martin. Worse yet, in my frigid stupor, I've walked right into Gig 'Em Alley, the strip of Rudder Plaza between the Stark Galleries and Rudder Fountain.
I hate this time of year, and not just because I have to adjust my route to the buses. I hate seeing fellow students turn into raving, mindless acolytes trying to sell a candidate like a poorly marketed Aggie Messiah.
It used to be that if you avoided the main hotspots, Gig 'Em Alley and Fish Pond Demilitarized Zone, you could dodge the worst of the zealots. Now they're flooding my inbox on Facebook - there is no escape.
What is it that turns Ags into cultist fanatics? I think the obvious answer is brainwashing. It's the only way to explain how former friends become the disciples of well-meaning, but woefully over-promising, wanna-be politicians.
For weeks, these collegiate crusaders hawk T-shirts and push free scantrons on unsuspecting passersby. Supporters of some candidates have been known to jump in front of oncoming bicycles in a desperate bid to hand the rider a flyer and spread their message. Others stand fast, holding bedsheet-sized signs in the face of College Station's fiercest winds at risk of being carried away. Clearly, people would not put themselves in the way of a moving bike or stand in a windstorm holding what amounts to a giant parachute unless they were being controlled against their will.
Be sure to include your name, major, and class year. Submissions without this information are subject to deletion.
By submitting a comment, you agree to thebatt.com's Terms of Use.
You may also send a Mail Call to The Battalion at mailcall@thebatt.com