Spring Break
Study shows children strain marriage
Problems arise in couples' relationships with the arrival of first-borns
By: Hunter Lockhart
Issue date: 3/31/09 Section: News
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The study, funded by the National Institutes of Health, was completed by Texas A&M professor of psychology Brian Doss and University of Denver's Scott Stanley, Howard Markman and Galena Rhodes
"In doing this study, we wanted to look at two key issues," Doss said. "First, does having a child negatively affect most marriages? The answer appears to be yes, it does. Second, are there factors that help us tailor additional help for couples who are the most at-risk for developing problems? The answer also appears to be yes."
Doss and his colleagues followed the couples for eight years, studying their pre-birth and post-birth behavior, concluding that for the average couple, the arrival of the first baby puts the couple in difficult situations that often lead to relationship problems.
"With the birth of the first baby comes a decrease in the number of relationship positives and an increase in the negative aspects," Doss said. He went on to say that very few couples seemed to benefit from having their first baby.
Doss found in his studies that the birth of the first baby was followed by problems in communication between the parents and an overall decline in the couples' satisfaction with the marriage. But this wasn't true for all of the couples that were studied.
"I think that you should be in a stable relationship before you are married and that you should be able to support your child and spouse," said William McGinness, a junior university studies major. "I want to have more than one child, and I think having a baby will only become a problem if I let it. The main thing is to focus on your relationship not only with your spouse, but also with your child."
Though 90 percent of the couples showed problems, the relationships of some couples were actually strengthened post-birth.
Doss found a connection between the events that occurred in the lives of the parents before marriage and the relationship problems that came with the first baby. For example, couples who lived together before marriage experienced more problems after birth than those who lived separately before marriage. In addition, couples whose parents fought or divorced showed greater dissatisfaction in their marriage.
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