Issue date: 5/11/09 Section: Opinion

Media Credit: Gail Hernandez [Click to enlarge]

Today I'm going to write about the importance of personal hygiene and, more importantly, the importance of not practicing it on the bus.

The end of the semester is coming up with all its projects and finals, so it's expected that people are going to let small things slide a little, i.e. personal hygiene, sleep, sanity and continence. However, this does not mean you should try to catch up on these things while riding public transportation (except continence, definitely try to catch up on that while you're sitting next to me.)

I hadn't really given this topic much thought before, but a young lady who sat next to me the other day suddenly brought it to my attention. This seemed slightly unusual, considering the number of things I had let slide recently, but not completely out of the ordinary. It was at this point that she produced a bottle of lotion and began rubbing it on her legs.

On the bus? Really? While you're sitting right next to me? That's just... I... I think you missed a spot...

Anyway, what I was trying to say when my higher-level brain functions were still operational, is that this sets a dangerous precedent. Sure, today it's attractive women lubricating their legs (Why? It's not like the joints are going to stop working if you don't oil them), but this is a slippery slope we're on now (slippery because of the lotion). I mean, if public moisturization takes the public's fancy, there's not going to be any guarantee that the perpetrators will continue to be attractive females. What about tomorrow, when it's large, sweaty shirtless men shaving their armpits? Or octogenarians sponge-bathing themselves? Or me, picking lint out of my belly button and knitting it into a scarf? Where does the madness stop? (Answer: as soon as this last row of stitches.)

I didn't have time to use the bathroom this morning, but that doesn't mean I'm going to do it right now, on the bus, I'll try to at least wait for the bushes outside the MSC bus stop. Actually, considering how people react when you just walk on the grass, maybe it would be safer on the bus.

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